Colombian Pirates... AKA Eyepatches are sexy!

I think Justin and I may have totally forgotten the craziest thing that has happened to us since we arrived here in Italy, while we were living in Marino with two of the craziest girls I've ever encountered. One was from Argentina, and would stay in her room all day long, and only come out to devour the toilet paper rolls, and a girl from Belgium who lived all over the world, spoke some of the most ridiculous languages, and disappeared for weeks at a time. This girl was such an enigma, that one day I will take the time and devote a post to her.

We had one other roommate however, only for two weeks. She was this strange woman from Columbia. She spoke to us in a mix of English, Italian and Spanish(of which, I know none.) She had a really sophisticated and almost sexy air about her, but there was this strange problem with her eye. Which one I can't quite remember now, but it seemed like it didn't work. It was glazed over and was kind of sunken in. We joked about maybe trying to get it on with her, but how creeped out she made us both feel when she looked directly at us. This went on like this until the day before she left. I happened to run into her on the train from Rome to Marino, and ended up hiking up the hill with her. I was a little bit tipsy and out of breath by the time I got to the top of the hill, that made me think it was a great idea to start hitting on her. We get back to the house another ten minutes later, and split a bottle of wine.

We get into a conversation about our respective countries. Mine obviously the USA, and hers Columbia. She starts talking about self image, and I immediately equate it to her eye, but no she seems to be relating it to how girls view her as a role model. I ask her why girls view her as an idol, "Which girls?" I ask. She grabs my computer and pulls up a website. I will reproduce it here for you. http://www.soniavelasquez.com/ The woman is a fucking Columbian celebrity!!! She has billboards with her picture on it, and has been in Maxim magazine as one of the hottest celebrities in the world. Here I am sitting next to a fucking celebrity thinking that I have the chance to score with her, kicking myself for not being able to see past her eye. No pun intended. She seems to lose interest in me as soon as I realize who she is. I think I got a little too excited.

This woman has her eye patches custom fabricated and given to her by a designer. She is a leading journalist in Columbia, like Katie Couric, but hot, and I am sitting across the red and white checkered table from her in Marino. One of the smallest most insignificant towns in Italy. She gets up from the table, calls me Justin and thats it. I never see her again.